


Matter.

by DreamerMDK



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Romantic Fluff, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 13:52:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4481690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamerMDK/pseuds/DreamerMDK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasaki would like to talk about his past personality, but Arima tried to ignore this topic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Matter.

**Author's Note:**

> There are some mistakes, sorry about it.

Sasaki smiled and ruffled his hair :  
"I'm not suicidal, and I don't think I'd ever actually kill myself... But, well, in the past..." - he continued - "I just think that if I was in a situation, for instance, a car was driving straight towards me, I'm not sure if I would get out of the way, Arima-San."  
"What are you..." - said Arima, who seemed as if he was shocked, but did not want to show it. Than the investigator sat near Sasaki and took a breath.  
"I don want you to speak with me about what kind of person you have been two years ago, before CCG gave you a shelter."  
Haise said with a burst of indignation:  
"I don't understand why."  
Arima seemed cold and unpleasant now.  
His grey eyes looked like ice pieces.  
"Stop it, first class investigator Kane... Haise".  
Sasaki came out of the room, saying:  
"Sorry, Arima-San for saying it. I'm so sorry."  
"..." - a CCG genius stayed silent.  
Young adult closed a door and felt terrible pain inside. "I am guilty one in the our quarrel."  
The sun was shining with such brilliance and Sasaki's skin sparkled gold. Haise knew that he is going to cry a lot if Arima wouldn't forgive him.  
Quinx wouldn't understand, maybe they would laugh in one's sleeve. What Mado will say after all? These thoughts hurt Sasaki, he didn't want to stay alone and lose his family.  
Suddenly, a first class investigator realized that he was standing in the same place near by the door to the Arima's office for a long time.  
In the Quinx residence Sasaki made a very unpleasant pungent dinner... So Haise must have done it again. Thanks One Eyed King no one from the squad has seen how nervous and broken was Sasaki.  
After a not bad done dinner was ready, Sasaki didn't stayed with his squad for the meal. Haise left dinner on the table. He went upstairs and lay on the bed with a book, which Arima gave to him couple days before.  
Haise imagined how Arima with his genteel elegance leaf over the pages and thinking about characters in the book - The story happened in the past and a boy felt in love with an older girl, than they have married, but after all a boy got injured by a dragon and girl stayed alone in the whole world without her lover. It was a tragedy. Well, Sasaki though reading tragedies would help him to go through his own sad love story.  
Sasaki liked Arima for a year at least! But he was absolutely certain that Kishou feel nothing romantic to Haise back.  
It was hard day. Distressing and lovesick day for Sasaki. He tried to understand why Arima did not want to talk about the past. "May be it hurts the Reaper investigator feelings... Well, has he a feelings at all? Yes, but... I do not think he want to share his feelings and memories with me." Young adult felt asleep. 

Haise, first class investigator, sat on the kitchen and was talking with Tooru.  
"Sorry, Tooru. But nothing's happened. That's alright. Really"  
Mutsuki gave Haise a look. Yeah, Sassan looked baleful. Maybe Quinx did something wrong, which made Haise-Kun sad? But Mutsukis' women intuition worked well, no matter transgender was he or not. Tooru said:  
"It related with your own feelings... Love?"  
Haise stayed silent.  
"With Arima-San?" young investigator asked.  
"Ye-yes... How did you worked it out?" Haise seemed wondering.  
"Well, maybe because you watch him that way... Like you fell in love with him." Said he, tousle his green hair.  
"I fell out with him and that's make me feel awful. Sorry for talking about it."  
"He knows, that you like him?" - Tooru seemed very curious about relationships of these two.  
"No, i didn't tell him."  
"He will forgive you, because I think you are an only person that he want to talk about books and lifestyle. Not about only ghouls, you know. Well, Arima-San needs to forgive you, because quarrels are just nothing, when you talking about the real love and friendship. " - Mutsuki gave Haise sincerely smile.  
"I don't think he loves me back, Tooru."  
"If he didn't mind, he wouldn't talk with you and give you hmm a smile. Because he never smiles to another."  
"Thank you. May you please not tell anyone about this conversation?" Haise asked.  
"Sure."  
Haise went out to the CCG. "Will Haisereturn this night back?" - asked Tooru himself.  
Than Mutsuki stayed alone, he had a weekend.  
Tooru felt that Haise tear his heart to pieces.  
"He loves another person... Arima, the Reaper, the best in CCG. There is nothing to wonder, of course. A lot of people like Kishou-San. But knowing that Sassan is one of them... It hurts so much. One-side love is such a bad thing. Well, I just hope, that Arima-San likes Sasaki too. I Nomatter happening with my feelings, I here for you just to know you are happy, Haise."

Arima's face was beamed by lamp light in his  
office. Today he had a lot of work and a lot of thoughts about Haise. Kishou felt really sorry about saying words in the rude way. He didn't want to lose Sasaki, didn't want him to remember Kaneki Ken. Because Arime liked Sasaki, not Kaneki. Kaneki was beautiful and strong, but his personality looked scary as ghoul personality. Haise was good, he had a good temperament and kindness, he stayed strong every time he had a problem. Sasaki was a nearly perfect investigator...  
Someone knocked the door and went in.  
"Good evening, Arima-San." voice belonged to person that Arima was thinking about a few moments ago.  
"Hello." Answered Kishou careless.  
"I want to say sorry again... And I bought a something for you. Do you want to have a look?"  
"I want."  
It was a small book, looking like a diary, but a very thick and quite old.  
"I bought it in the Harajuku, and wrote some thoughts. Let me know if you like it, please."  
Arima said:  
"I was rude with you last time, because I do not want you to change. I do not want you to become the person you have been before. Because now you are so good. I really like the way you doing. That's all the truth you need to know, Haise. I hope you understand."  
Sasaki was pleased with Arimas' words and asked:  
"May I... May I hug you?" Haise realized what he actually has said a moment ago and was standing like a statue because of the fear he felt. Of course Arima will say "what are talking about?".  
"What are you waiting for?" - asked Arima.  
Haise clasp Arima. Kishou put his elegant hand on the young investigator back.  
By another hand special class investigator opened a small book that Sasaki gave to him. There was only one note:  
"I love you, Arima-san. As much as person could love another person. I have no chance to date with you, I know, but I see you everywhere. White color reminds me about your hair, grey sky makes me think about your eyes, sound of you leafing over the pages makes me imagine you reading. There is a lot of words I won't say... Because than more I will say to than more painful it will be to see you looking at me with cold and hating. Sasaki."  
Arima stayed silent for a moment, and than said :  
"I like it."  
"Ah?" - Haise looked in Arima's eyes.  
"Good one."  
"Do you... Feel the same?" Sasaki asked.  
"Our ages are different." - Arima said.  
"You allowed me to hug you and said you like my letter, but now you told me that our ages are different and we can't be together. What a monster you are?  
"Calm down, Haise. It is just a fact and I hope you understand that I'm older than you. I didn't say that I do not want to be with you. We can be a couple, but nobody need to know it. Let me kiss you now, stop talking." 

In the Quinx house was too silent without Sasaki. Urie returned from the JYM and asked Mutsuki where is Sassan.  
"I don't know." He told.  
After a while Kuki said "You seemed very sad. What happened?"  
"Nothing. That's fine. Thank you for asking." - Tooru tried too smile.  
"Good." - Urie wanted to put one the headphones, but Tooru stopped him for a while, saying :  
"Today Sassan won't return. He is with Arima now having... I don't want to talk about it."  
"Understand. They are good for each other, yes?" "Yeah... Forget about everything I said to you, okay? Sassan do not want me to tell about his own life to other members of the Quinx's squad." Than Kuki nodded and went upstairs to his room.  
Fives minutes later Mutsuki cried on his bad and tried to be as quite as he can be. He didn't want anyone in the squad see him in so bad statement like now. "Pain. In my chest. In my heart. Why I said Sasaki that Arima likes him too? Maybe one day Haise would tell me that he loves me... Not Arima anymore. So why I helped him? Because I want Haise-Kun to be happy. For somebody love is suffering."

Sasaki felt happy, really happy.  
Arima took Haise to the big residence belonged to Kishou.  
They spend all night together. When Sasaki awaked he saw Arima choosing suit for the work with naked torso.  
"You are too sexy for this world." Said Haise.  
"You too, especially when you lay on the bad with a messy hair and smelling my perfume."  
Arima put on a white shirt, looking in the big mirror.  
Arima smiled, and Sasaki saw his smile in the reflecting surface, so young investigator made a a funny face to the older. They both laughed. It was a first time when Haise saw Kishou laughed and Sasaki liked a thought, that he is an only one, who can see Arima like this.

Sassan returned home absolutely exited. And happy.  
He ate breakfast with a squad, joking and laughing. Tooru laughed too, smiled a lot. No one knows how broken he was, beside a one person with dark purple hair. And no one knows how happy was Sasaki, beside a one person with a fake smile.


End file.
